Resolutions, Reviews, and Randomness

I have been wanting to sit down and stare at a blank blog entry for days now. I wanted to write about my resolutions, my year in review, and just general randomness. The past few days have been hectic, at best, with Liam still teething. Update: he has cut four teeth on the bottom (2 molars and 2 canines), and seems alot happier. He didn't throw up tonight, so things are definitely better.

Here goes...this will be long, may jump around, and may sometimes not make any sense to anyone, except myself. This was my year and what it did for me.

2008. A year of joy, adventure, learning, strength, fear and challenge. I faced all of them head on. I learned more about myself this year than my whole life. I learned that having a shoulder to cry on is a blessing. Having the strength to hold back the tears while on that shoulder is near impossible, but I can now achieve it. Being needed by a child has given me a new sense of purpose. Being needed and depended on by a family member, who is usually the person I turn to for strength, has given me positive reinforcement in the power of family.

The man who I look up to, who I learned so many lessons from, the one who has looked out for me, and the one who, no matter what, will never give up on me, taught me the main lesson this year. Strength. My father gave me strength throughout my life, and was my rock. When he had his accident this summer, I was numb. As a daughter, and an only child, your parents are everything to you. My father built my foundation and when he was in the hospital recovering, my foundation crumbled. I, for some reason, had believed he was invincible. He was a strong, stubborn, outgoing person, who was always on the move. He worked so incredibly hard, at everything he did. Then, in a moment, he was reduced to an immobilized, disabled, frustrated man. The person who had shown such strength seemed to disappear for that moment. I remember seeing him and thinking he looked so small and fragile. I am not going to dwell on the details. He rose above, fought through all his pain, and came out on top. He taught me to always keep going. To be positive. And to look ahead, but to take one day at a time. It made my life more real, it instilled fear into me. It taught me that life is a series of moments, and to make the most of each moment, as it only takes one to change your life. The experience also encouraged me to have some form of faith in a higher power, that someone was looking out for my dad that day, making sure that we didn't lose one of the most amazing, genuine and honest men around. Out of this comes a resolution--make every moment count!

I was broken down a few times this year. There is a court case going on currently. I will not give many details, as it is still going on, but the stress of it is incredibly tough. Thanks to amazingly caring family, extended family (you know who you are-D & G), Andy, and friends, the stress has been minimal. I have been able to tackle obstacles head on and not look back this year.

We had some fun adventures this year. Zoo trips, swimming, various parks, playgrounds, playdates. For 2009, I want to have many more adventures. We are planning to do a trip to Edmonton in the spring, spend a couple of nights, hit the mall and the zoo. Liam turned 1, and had 3 parties, with some amazing guests at each. Having him has definitely changed my life. He has slowed me down, yet sped me up. Taught me to take life one day at a time. Has taught me that it is possible to love someone so incredibly much, that it hurts. Most of all, he has taught me that there is nothing better than being a mom. I get it now, Mom, I truly do. Thank you for everything you have done for me, past, present, and future. You are an amazing person, who I lean on daily for strength and support.

Andy has been my rock this year. I have depended on him so very much, and he is always there through the thick and thin. Things may not have been easy this year, but he was always there to be my everything. He has proved that love is much more that 2 people being together. It is understanding, genuine, never judging, and undying. It has given me a restored faith that incredible people do exist. Ones that will go out of there way and give up so much for a person. He is everything. I definitely see why they are called "better half". He completes the parts of me that are lacking, or in need of repair. He sees beyond my exterior, and knows me better than I know myself. He keeps my spirits up, my head held high, keeps my heart soaring and my soul content. It is always an adventure with him--we have fun wherever we go, whatever we are doing.

My MS has been alot better. Barely any flare ups, as I have been doing injections weekly. We will definitely be going back to the weight loss clinic soon, as I want to get back on track, and keep getting healthy.

I have had to dig deep within myself this year, deeper than other years, to maintain focus, strength, and composure. I have shed alot of tears this year, whether they be through happiness, fear, sadness, or anger. I have learned to express my feelings and even embrace them, if the situation permits it. For 2009, I crave simplicity in a complex world. I want Liam to keep discovering his world and keep healthy. I want to have as many adventures as possible and experience new things. I want to give back as much as possible. I want to surround myself with family more often, even re-invent Sunday suppers, if possible. I want to laugh more and cry less. I want to get more organized, as I know the anal side of me needs to be. I want to cook more. I want to write more. I want to spend time catching up things I miss doing--scrapbooking, reading, photography. Most of all, I want to make the moments into memories. I want to do more with less.

Now the fun, not so serious side. In 2009, I want to try yoga. I want to eat Turducken--just google it, if you don't know what it is. I need to get to a football game. I know there is more, but my brain is starting to fog. Oh! I want to take Andy to Angel's Drive In--yum-o!

I want this year to be memorable. Liam will be 2 this year, I will be 27. I want this year to be full of smiles and giggles, memories and milestones. I want to sit here next year, and not shed any tears while writing about my year. I want to be able to smile when I remember my 2009.