Revelations...

Again, it's been awhile since the last blog. Things have been stressful, I have been in a bad relapse, and Liam is teething. Through all of this though, I've been keeping my chin up, as usual. Montel Williams was on Oprah today. He was discussing his battles with Multiple Sclerosis. The thing that touched me completely, while listening to him, was his passion, his vulernability, and his strength to overcome anything that the horrible disease throws at him. He suffered from severe depression, was suicidal, has non-stop pain throughout his body. He has a rapidly progressing form of the disease, increasing the unpredicatability of it. But there he was, on Oprah, telling his story. Telling it with passion, with courage, and with a strength that some would be blessed to posess. He focuses on the small things in his life, and treats every day as a gift. He pushes himself every single day, forces himself to get out of bed. He faces each day with strength and passion. His wife stays by his side, being his main support system. He lives every day with this debilitating disease. And he still smiles.

Yes, this affects me on a level that might not affect others in the same way. What I loved about watching him though, was, it proves that others can get through it. Second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. He was very candid and bluntly honest. I appreciate that. Through watching him, I felt comforted and reassured. I know it's okay to have a bad day, to be frustrated with the disease, to question my diagnosis, and to be stubborn as hell. I can be anal. I can have a bad day. I can curl up in bed with Liam and just veg. I can have a good try with no reason. I can overcome what is thrown at me.

This past week has thrown me into a tail spin. The job that I got hired at, well, I have chosen not to pursue it. The stress of thinking about the job and all that it entails, put me into a relapse. I know better. It wouldn't have worked out, but I am stubborn, so I thought I could do it. I also experienced new symptoms, mostly stomach problems, and my depression/anxiety level was up there.

I'm not sure why I am blogging all of this, but I am feeling a sense of calm as the words scroll across the screen. Maybe I don't want to hide from it, and actually admit that this disease is getting to me lately. Mostly frustration. I hate the battle, but I love the fight. And I fight it daily. I want it known that I have MS, and I am trying different techniques to manage the symptoms. And I have an amazing support system, which is definitely the best part.

I definitely need to keep up the healthy eating plan we are on, and we have been looking at going to a gym, as exercise always makes me feel better.

I should head to bed... that's another thing I need more of... sleep! Cheers!

Birthdays, Turtles & Employment

I admit, it's been awhile since I last blogged. My dedication seems to be somewhat lacking as of late. I promise my few but faithful readers, I will blog more. I swear. I promise. Yeah, we all believe that, now don't we?!

Went to Miss Emma-bean's second birthday party on Sunday. Definitely had a great time, once Liam realized that all the people there are okay to visit with, and that Aidan's room will always be there--he sort of gravitated to it. He's not used to large crowds of people, so he sought comfort in Aidan's room apparently-he especially liked the big boy bed! Emma was absolutely adorable--she wouldn't have it any other way--and was amazing at opening her presents! Thank you so much Manders for having us!
We are now the proud owners of 2 aquatic turtles. There is also a blood parrot fish--they always look like they are smiling--you can see what they look like HERE . The turtles are fantastic, very entertaining, and very healthy eaters. They were eating feeder fish and butter worms today, along with dried shrimp and romaine lettuce. Tasty combination for them, I guess! They know when it's feeding time and when it's night time, and are always curious when we go past their tank. They have taken on the names Hide and Seek for now, makes sense.

Liam is still teething, but the problem one finally cut, so it's a little bit easier on him. His gums are still swollen and he still has more to come, but as long as he has lots of sleep and bits of tylenol, he's his normal happy self. He's become quite the little ham, always ready to put on a show for anyone who cares to watch. He has learned to blow his nose, and also blows insane amounts of raspberries. He continues to amaze me more and more everyday!

Finally...I got a job. I am going to be doing personal care at a nursing home. The nursing home is beautiful and the grounds are very scenic--definitely different than some in the city. I start next Thursday--I can't wait. I mean, I love spending time with Liam, but I need a bit of a break. I also need to figure out/prove to myself if I can do it. It's part time, they're flexible with scheduling, and the pay is decent. We shall see how everything works out. Poor Liam has to be up 3 hours earlier than usual though, just so I can get him to my dad's house, as Andy is working my first day. Might make it easier on my dad, being so tired, Liam might crash easily for his nap. I've got 2 pairs of scrubs, will still look for a third. That way, I won't be having to do laundry all the time. But, the main part is, I have a job. The nursing home is giving me a huge chance, as I don't have very much experience, just the training I completed through school. So, off I go, to prove everyone wrong, and show them I can do it!

Tomorrow, we are off to the Science Centre hopefully. The weather is getting better by the day, so might as well get out and enjoy it while we can! Not sure what we will do on Saturday--time and weather will tell, I guess. Until next time, I'm off to bed! Cheers!