Room to breathe....

I've been meaning to blog for months now...But things have been hectic to say the least. Especially the last week, it seems, so that is why I've got my popcorn and the 'puter, and am ready to roll. As long as Liam doesn't wake up mind you, I should be able to entertain my faithful few blog readers for a bit at least...


Frustration has been running high the past week. Liam has been proving to be a challenge, to say the least. In January, the pediatrician confirmed what we already suspected--that Liam is high functioning autistic. We knew this of course, and I have to admit, it's been easier since we heard the diagnosis. He now has access to so many resources now, such as an aide at school, speech therapy, psychology, occupational therapy, etc. He soon will be set up with an agency who will not only give him an aide for school, but someone who will work at home with him. And also set up therapies. And hopefully get him to eat---that is the biggest struggle, and is becoming harder and harder to deal with--not only emotionally, but financially! He will eat anywhere from 5-10 baby food jars per day, plus yogurt and milk. 


It may sound like I am making it out to be horrible, but there are days where I am truly ready to quit. Then there are the amazing days, when all factors are working with us--right amount of sleep, no tummy troubles, ate alot, no chinooks or harsh weather changes--that I would do it again and again. His laugh, his play, his mannerisms, his love of long car rides, and when he says he loves me... Makes the sometimes rip-your-hair out and cry your eyes out days worth it... It is definitely a constant battle. To get him eating. To get him proper care. To get him all of the therapy he needs. 


It has also been the most difficult now that Andy is back to work full time. I have noticed the really bad days are when he is back at work. Not that I can't handle looking after him, he just misses his daddy. He kept saying tonight "I lost him" and wanted to go see him...


So, needless to say, it's hectic. I take Liam to school 4 days a week (sometimes he only makes it for 3). Most kids go twice a week, but it was recommended he go for 4 days per week, for maximum therapy benefits.  And because his school is a 20 minute drive from our house, I tend to run errands, hit the mall, or hide out in the library. Then, when not feeding him every hour to two hours---baby food doesn't have staying power, I try to go all domestic-cleaning, cooking, cooking make ahead meals for the freezer, coupon clipping--nope not extreme, can't do that in Canada yet. Sundays are our lazy day--I tend to push myself too hard during the week, so I'm exhausted on Sunday. I also fight with Liam during the night--he hasn't quite figured out the concept of sleeping through the night. 


Even with my so called "down time" after he crashes at 9 or 9:30, my mind is still racing. What do I have to do tomorrow? What am I making for dinner? Did I stock up enough on baby food jars? Oh crap--need to vacuum. Oh, still need to do this or that. My mind never stops--seriously wish it did--it's like an anal to-do list on repeat. 


But I've learned my calming devices. Writing lists--multiple ones at times, clipping coupons, bubble baths (love it when Andy is off), cooking, recipe hunting, recipe converting to make fave recipes low fat... And my parents---as shitty of a day that I have, I spend time with them, or talk to them on the phone, I tend to calm down. They have definitely been my saving grace. And Andy... he lets me vent it all out as much as I need to...


My popcorn is almost gone, I'm trying to think of what to make for dinner tomorrow night--tonight's ham and asparagus strata kicked some serious Martha-ass by the way, and what I need to do to get Liam prepped for school tomorrow, what phone calls I need to make, keep tracking down Andy's late paycheque....   Yeah...  should probably try to sleep soon... or cut down on the caffeine... or relax...  or look up some info on ADHD? Night all...   Oh!!! We're going back to the weight loss clinic on Wednesday---time to face the fat (facts) and start fresh!!