Room to breathe....

I've been meaning to blog for months now...But things have been hectic to say the least. Especially the last week, it seems, so that is why I've got my popcorn and the 'puter, and am ready to roll. As long as Liam doesn't wake up mind you, I should be able to entertain my faithful few blog readers for a bit at least...


Frustration has been running high the past week. Liam has been proving to be a challenge, to say the least. In January, the pediatrician confirmed what we already suspected--that Liam is high functioning autistic. We knew this of course, and I have to admit, it's been easier since we heard the diagnosis. He now has access to so many resources now, such as an aide at school, speech therapy, psychology, occupational therapy, etc. He soon will be set up with an agency who will not only give him an aide for school, but someone who will work at home with him. And also set up therapies. And hopefully get him to eat---that is the biggest struggle, and is becoming harder and harder to deal with--not only emotionally, but financially! He will eat anywhere from 5-10 baby food jars per day, plus yogurt and milk. 


It may sound like I am making it out to be horrible, but there are days where I am truly ready to quit. Then there are the amazing days, when all factors are working with us--right amount of sleep, no tummy troubles, ate alot, no chinooks or harsh weather changes--that I would do it again and again. His laugh, his play, his mannerisms, his love of long car rides, and when he says he loves me... Makes the sometimes rip-your-hair out and cry your eyes out days worth it... It is definitely a constant battle. To get him eating. To get him proper care. To get him all of the therapy he needs. 


It has also been the most difficult now that Andy is back to work full time. I have noticed the really bad days are when he is back at work. Not that I can't handle looking after him, he just misses his daddy. He kept saying tonight "I lost him" and wanted to go see him...


So, needless to say, it's hectic. I take Liam to school 4 days a week (sometimes he only makes it for 3). Most kids go twice a week, but it was recommended he go for 4 days per week, for maximum therapy benefits.  And because his school is a 20 minute drive from our house, I tend to run errands, hit the mall, or hide out in the library. Then, when not feeding him every hour to two hours---baby food doesn't have staying power, I try to go all domestic-cleaning, cooking, cooking make ahead meals for the freezer, coupon clipping--nope not extreme, can't do that in Canada yet. Sundays are our lazy day--I tend to push myself too hard during the week, so I'm exhausted on Sunday. I also fight with Liam during the night--he hasn't quite figured out the concept of sleeping through the night. 


Even with my so called "down time" after he crashes at 9 or 9:30, my mind is still racing. What do I have to do tomorrow? What am I making for dinner? Did I stock up enough on baby food jars? Oh crap--need to vacuum. Oh, still need to do this or that. My mind never stops--seriously wish it did--it's like an anal to-do list on repeat. 


But I've learned my calming devices. Writing lists--multiple ones at times, clipping coupons, bubble baths (love it when Andy is off), cooking, recipe hunting, recipe converting to make fave recipes low fat... And my parents---as shitty of a day that I have, I spend time with them, or talk to them on the phone, I tend to calm down. They have definitely been my saving grace. And Andy... he lets me vent it all out as much as I need to...


My popcorn is almost gone, I'm trying to think of what to make for dinner tomorrow night--tonight's ham and asparagus strata kicked some serious Martha-ass by the way, and what I need to do to get Liam prepped for school tomorrow, what phone calls I need to make, keep tracking down Andy's late paycheque....   Yeah...  should probably try to sleep soon... or cut down on the caffeine... or relax...  or look up some info on ADHD? Night all...   Oh!!! We're going back to the weight loss clinic on Wednesday---time to face the fat (facts) and start fresh!!

Stress, Teething and Exhaustion

Grandpa P. & Liam
Haven't blogged in a few days, mostly due to being extremely tired. I tend to get overtired and blah when I get stressed, and my MS tends to flare up quite a bit. As well, I have an extremely sore left jaw. I think I have been clenching my jaw at night when I sleep, and I also suffer from temporal mandibular dislocation with both jaws-meaning, my jaw doesn't line up properly and clicks rather loudly. I can actually say I have a big mouth! So, needless to say, it hurts. Motrin has been helping alot and I know if I de-stress myself, I will feel better.

Went to Chinook this morning with Liam and my parents. Did a big mall walk, well, run. Liam was moving it pretty good today, and was so proud of himself. Dad and Liam went on the carousel--watching Dad turn white and look sick? Not good. They should really slow that thing down! I think that is why there is barely anyone riding it at any given time-they know better!

And Liam is getting smarter by the day. If I say "no" or "ta-ta" to him, he sticks out his forehead for a kiss to say sorry. If I am not facing him, he grabs my face and turns it toward him. It's absolutely priceless! He was a bit grouchy today, mostly due to teething--yep, he's still teething. It's been non-stop! He also hates being in his stroller now, as he loves to walk! Can get a little frustrating when we're in a busy store, but we make the best of it. I am going to take him to a quiet mall tomorrow morning and let him walk to his hearts content.

Tomorrow afternoon, I am off to court. This is one of the reasons for my stress and exhaustion. This is different than my own court case. I am going to give a statement against someone who did a hit and run on our car a few months back. He not only did the hit and run--but I caught him about 8-10 blocks away--but he only had a learners. And it wasn't his car. So, that's the plan for my afternoon tomorrow. Andy is going to get up early (he's off tomorrow night) and look after Liam. So a mall walk in the morning to tire Liam down is probably a good idea, as anyone other than me getting him to nap? Not easy.

Needless to say, I'm enjoying the vomit free days and nights now. Just get tomorrow over with, and I will feel a bit better. Get my own court date in May over with, and things will be alot better. There are still some other issues I want to deal with, but will keep you posted on the results.

Should run, am going to have some soup. Comfort food. That's where it's at. Might even curl up in bed with a book and ear plugs--just kidding about the ear plugs...maybe... Night!

More Vomit & Needing A Break

I had 2 nights of Liam not vomiting. I apparently took it for granted, as he was sick and miserable twice tonight. To all of the medical professionals that say that teething does not affect babes, please come and see me. They can come and scrub my carpets, wrestle him to bed, do endless loads of laundry, and dread bedtime as I do. It was a 2 hour long fight, he's been down for not even half an hour, and he's stirring again. I broke down after I got him to sleep. The frustration and lack of sleep was building, and I just had to run back down and settle him... Tomorrow, we'll cut down more on his bottles, monitor his solids, and give him some of his anti-gas meds and see how tomorrow night will be... he definitely needs to cut down on his milk.

We are off to Grandma's tomorrow to do her biweekly cleaning. We'll see how Liam is in the morning, if he's iffy, I might leave him with Andy and go myself. I would prefer for all of us to go, that way I can get her cleaning done, and she can visit with them. We shall see what the morning brings....

On the plus side, as I am starting to relax now, Liam was doing so many new things today. We tried fingerpainting again, with more success. Granted most of the paint didn't go on the paper. It was on his booster chair, me, him, his forehead, the table... everywhere. But the finished product, as you can see, was worth it. Then I got busy in the kitchen doing dishes, and left him in the livingroom to watch In The Night Garden. He gets really into the show, so silence doesn't surprise me... He doesn't really get into anything, so I didn't worry, but checked on him. He was laying on his side on the couch, watching his show, drinking his juice from his sippy cup. It's new to us, as he has sensitive hands, so he doesn't tend to hold things. But there he was, curled up, chugging his juice. Then at dinner, he was playing with his ride-on car, swung his leg over and got on. He moved it back and forth with his feet, sitting proud, then got off, and managed to do it a few more times... So the nights may be hell, but the days make it worth it... usually... he's stirring again... sigh...

This doesn't mean that I don't want a break. How I would love a couple hours by myself, with no worries. I am going to see if my parents will watch him Friday after dinner, then I will go and pick up groceries and unload them. They said they would watch Liam next week so Andy and I could go for dinner, which I am looking forward to alot! I just need a break. And some help. There is alot of laundry and cleaning to get caught up on, and I got behind after I slipped on the ice. So the next few days, I get to play catch up while Andy looks after the kiddo... Thankfully... I did have a hot bubble bath tonight though, after having amazing takeout from Montana's... It hasn't been too bad, all in all. I just dread bedtime, as I worry for Liam... It's always a guessing game with him puking... sigh...

Tuesday is weigh-in. Definitely glad we're back on track. It feels good to be doing it, and I love revamping favorite recipes to make them healthier--I'm always up for a challenge...

Should run...am getting caught up on recorded shows... Survivor... ahh... Cheers!